Silimerette: Clownfish in Love

These fishies are tiny to measure
But easy to eat at your leisure
A clownfish a day
Keeps real clowns away
And that is a feature to treasure!

Safe in anemone lairs
Protected from sharks and mer-bears
When around others
They all start out brothers
And one adopts feminine flair!

Though the two over there look like twins
From their eyes to their gills to their fins
You can tell them apart
Only one fish is smart
He listens to Bach violins!


*Got some time to kill and a rhyming dictionary? Leave me a limerick in the comments :)

Tales of the Sugargoose: Notes on Fall

--About the Sugargoose--

Dear Diary,

Thank the winged gods, DC's hellish summer has finally broken! As a Canada goose, I much prefer colder weather. Soon some of my feathery brethren should start visiting en route to southern climes. I sure don't miss migrating, I'll tell you that, Diary. Flying all day leaves no time for art!

Inside was a "bloodsicle." (shudder)

The lion cubs are a year old, and had a birthday party a little while ago. I watched with a bunch of humans, though I hid in a tree so people wouldn't notice me and gawk. I don't know why they'd want to point at me when there are lions to stare at, but that's humans for you. Some of them obviously never see animals outside of the zoo. I mean, they take pictures of the ducks. Not even exotic ducks--just mallards. Sheesh.

Billy's head and neck are starting to turn from brownish-gray to pink. That's the color flamingoes are supposed to be, I guess, but it's a little odd watching him slowly adopt bubblegum hues.

There's been major squabbling over the inaugural book club selection, so finally I took the advice of Ambika, the oldest elephant, and told everyone I was going to pick and that if they didn't like it, too bad. It actually worked, and everyone stopped screeching (except for the crested screamers, but they never stop screeching).

Spreading rumors about the orangs?
Time will tell.

So now I just have to get my wings on an actual book to pass around. Unfortunately, the local libraries have an unfair No Geese policy. Ambika says to talk to the apes. She heard the chimps figured out how to open their cages at night and use the keepers' computers to order stuff on Amazon.

Some of the Ape House residents stay inside, but the orangutans spend most mornings in the outdoor part of their enclosure. I'd been sort of intimidated by them since they're huge and Mei Xiang the panda told me she heard they eat birds.

Ambika says Mei Xiang is full of dung (apparently there is some beef between them, though neither would say why). I have to say the elephants seem smarter than the bamboo-brained pandas, so I'm more inclined to believe Ambika. I'll try to visit the orangutans tomorrow.

-Sugar

Dispatches from Scamperbeast: Box Battle!

About Agent SCAMPERBEAST

DISPATCH #5
SCAMPERBEAST REPORTS:

1320 HOURS
HQ be advised that a ROGUE BOX has infiltrated our perimeter. Reconnaissance mission launched.

1330 HOURS
Pleased to report that ROGUE BOX defenses have been breached!

<COWCAT: Not by you. The Tall Ones opened it.>

SCAMPERBEAST: Agent COWCAT is too busy eating kibble to bother with an accurate report. ROGUE BOX has been emptied through a skillful application of diplomacy with TALL ONE and TALL TWO.

1340 HOURS
ROGUE BOX has been surrendered by TALL ONE and TALL TWO, who have retreated with contents of BOX. Launching mission to claim ROGUE BOX territory for our side!

<COWCAT: Whose side?>

SCAMPERBEAST: ...Headquarters' side. Obviously.

<COWCAT: Maybe you should radio in to HQ and see if they even want the box.>

SCAMPERBEAST: Unnecessary. Our mission is to contain all militant forces in and around our Forward Operating Base. Subduing ROGUE BOX is well within mission parameters.

<COWCAT: I never should have shown you where the Tall Ones keep the war movies.>

SCAMPERBEAST: Deploying claws!

1345 HOURS
Status of ROGUE BOX: Conquered!

SCAMPERBEAST OUT

Quote Goat #7: Are and Are Not

Silimerette #6: Sperm Whale

A whale with a very blunt nose
Was told that his greatest of foes
A foul giant squid
Had just had a kid
So their long epic battle he froze.

Chatting, they were unprepared
To find several hobbies they shared
Like drinking chablis
And long poetry
Soon they were pals, they declared!

But whales are quite clingy, it's known
When the squid tried to head off for home
The whale took a toll
And gulped his friend whole
So he'd never again be alone!

Tales of the Sugargoose: Rah Rah Rheas (NOT)

--About the Sugargoose--

Dear Diary,

Rude rhea #2

I've met many lovely and/or intelligent animals here at the zoo, whether winged, hoofed or pawed. Reas, however, do not number among them. 

The other day I was waddling by on the path outside their exhibit, and one of them called out to me:

Rhea 1: Hey, Sugar! We want to join book club!

Me: Really? (Surprised, I flew into the exhibit) That's great! So what book do you want to read? The tortoises are angling for Dante's Div--

Rhea 1: Can we eat it?

Me: The book? Uh, no, that's not really what it's for.

Rhea 2: Then what's the point?

Me: Well, reading stories takes you on adventures, and then we can talk about what we think--

Rhea 1: You wanna know why books are dumb?

Me: ...

Rhea 1: Because they're made of trees! (The rheas bump wings like that was a major slam.)

Me: Um. Well, I was talking to the elephants, and they think we should get a Kindle in a waterproof cover to pass around. That way--

Rhea 2: We don't have books in Australia. 

Me: .... You're not from Australia.

Rhea 2: And if we did, we'd eat them! (They bump wings again and snicker.)

Me: You're from South America. Says so on your sign. And there ARE books in Australia. And, for that matter, South America.

Rhea 1 (bobbing head threateningly): If we say there're no books, there are no books. 

That's when they started stalking closer, and I flew away honking.  Billy my flamingo friend says they're just being rheas, and to ignore them. I'm glad rheas can't fly, because as long as I stay out of their enclosure I won't have to talk to them. 

I suppose it takes all kinds, but wow, diary. Even the King Vultures have better manners, and I saw one of them tearing shreds of flesh off a rat the other day. (I pretended not to notice. It's only polite, right?) 

Anyway. We're still trying to figure out which book to read first. You would not believe how opinionated the zebras are! But I'll have to wrangle a consensus soon and get my book club to take wing. The only thing I know with certainty is that the rheas aren't invited!

-Sugar

Dispatches from Scamperbeast: Bug Alert!

ANT RENEGADE!

About Agent SCAMPERBEAST

DISPATCH #4
SCAMPERBEAST REPORTS:

Headquarters, be advised: bugs are taunting Agent COWCAT and myself from the balcony! Current sighting: HUGE ANT crawling on the outside of the window, in direct disobedience with our treaty. Attempts to paw through the glass have been less then successful.

<COWCAT: And Scamperbeast fell out of the cat tree trying.>

SCAMPERBEAST: Untrue! Agent COWCAT is grossly misinformed (emphasis on the gross). Agent SCAMPERBEAST is agile and sure-clawed, and merely launched a daring aerial attack on the window to dissuade aforementioned HUGE ANT from disturbing our perimeter.

<COWCAT: He fell.>

SCAMPERBEAST: Furthermore, I am unsure how agent COWCAT could have even witnessed the aerial attack, given that he was dozing on the couch.

<COWCAT: I wasn't asleep. I was lulling the ant into complacency.>

COWCAT's strategy: INEFFECTIVE

SCAMPERBEAST: That's your strategy? Nap at it?

<COWCAT: It worked just as well as your strategy of fall-->

SCAMPERBEAST: Don't move, agent COWCAT! There's a bug on your ear!

<COWCAT: There's no bug on my ear. Stop stalking me.>

SCAMPERBEAST: I will save you from the BUG INSURGENT!

<COWCAT: No, I don't want to tussle. NO. Don't you dare! You better not leap-->

--TRANSMISSION ENDED--